With pant legs rolled and hidden butterflies grinding my stomach to bits, I stood on the shore of a tiny mountain lake forgetting everything I had planned to say. April sat waiting at the bow, smiling a patient smile. Always calm. On cue, I gave an easy shove and the canoe opened the surface. Ripples of water pulsed under the night’s light and as my foot let go of the rocky lakebed I shivered in anticipation, hoping we would not return the same as we had left.